God's Agape Love, Part One

"Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law," (Ro. 13:8).

"Love never faileth..." (1 Cor. 13:8, ASV).

"We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death," I John 3:14.

Have you ever harbored hatred in your heart?  Did it possess your waking moments with thoughts and images of murder, death and your nemesis burning in the flames of hell?  Did such thoughts give you immense pleasure, even though you knew it was wrong to feel that way?

Today's blog is a personal testimony of how God worked His love into my hate-filled heart in a very specific situation when I was a teenager.  If you're struggling with the spirit of hate, I pray this message will help bring you to deliverance.

The Only Man I Ever Hated

After my mom and dad divorced, my mom married a man who was no better than my dad had been:  a drunkard who became violently abusive when intoxicated. He terrified me.  Nevertheless, my mom would allow him to drive me to school and before I could get out the car he would grab me and kiss me on my mouth.  This was seen by several teachers and the word got back to my mother who became very upset with me.

Even though I had given my life to Christ at age twelve, I had grown to hate this man who I refused to acknowledge as my step-father.   He had beaten my mother too many times and I had lived in fear for years.  There had to be a way to get peace in our home again.  If only he were dead...

Like a cancer, hatred began to grow and spread throughout my heart and soul.  Oh, how I longed for this man to be gone!  I wanted him to suffer...to be tormented... to be in excruciating and unending pain.  I became obsessed with thoughts of his demise.

Then one day, the trigger was pulled.  He started arguing with my mom and he escalated into beating and kicking her to the floor. No more!  I'm not going to stand by and watch this happen again! As I ran out the house I had only one thought in mind:  this is the day I kill him!  As fate would have it, I spied a huge board with long rusty nails laying in the grass in the backyard.  Before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed the weapon and was headed back into the house, seeing myself beating the life out of him as I hit him over the head repeatedly, fracturing his skull and spilling his life blood all over the floor.   Somehow that image excited me!   I felt pleasure at the thought of him dying and going to hell.  I imagined him screaming in the tormenting flames of the lake of fire and brimstone and it delighted my soul.

 By the time I got back into the house, an uncle of mine had arrived.  When my mother saw me running in through the back door of the kitchen, I must have looked wildly insane, for she immediately told my uncle to grab me and hold me back.  He caught me and was doing his best to restrain me, but was having a rough time of it.  My mom looked at her husband and told him to flee.  He took one look at me and fled out the door front door.   I was raging like a madman.  Thoughts of reason tried to flood my mind:  "if you kill him you could go to jail for life!"  Nevertheless, my inner voice responded that it would be worth it as long as he was dead!

  When it dawned on me that my stepdad had escaped and I was not going to be able to kill him, I began to tremble and weep.  As my uncle held me, I began to calm down.   When the rage ceased and my thoughts cleared, I "came to myself" and was terrified ... of me!   My body was still trembling involuntarily when a new reality dawned upon me:  I truly was capable of murder!  Had it not been for the intervention of my uncle that day, I would have killed a man for sure.

This is a picture of seething hatred.  Deep rooted hatred.  It was an entity that came upon me and lodged within my heart:  a demon spirit.  I had felt what people might called "temporary insanity".  I felt crazy; but, it was a part of me... but God was not going to allow it to remain there.

GOD'S WAY OF DELIVERANCE - You've Got to Be Kidding Me!

 I was a Christian.  I loved God.   I enjoyed His Presence and could hear His voice.  So sweet.  In those days, I had the blessed privilege of going straight to the church after school where I would "hang out with God" and do my homework and play around on the piano because the doors of the church were never locked.   I enjoyed being alone with God.  I would rather go to the church than home because of the peace and quiet and awesomeness of His Presence.  It was my place of refuge.

 I never talked to God about my mother's husband or how I felt about him, but that didn't stop Him from knowing!  And the time came when He needed to address this issue in my life, for He was after my whole heart and darkness had invaded it.   I may have to paraphrase the conversation with Him a little bit, but it went something like this:

God:     I need you to forgive "George" (not his real name).
Me:      Oh, God, I don't think I can do that and really mean it!
God:     There is something I need you to do that will deliver you.
Me:       What, Lord?
God:     You need to ask "George" to forgive you for hating him.

I was shocked and even offended by these words of my heavenly Father.

Me:       You've got to be kidding me?  Me ask him to forgive me?  What?  He's the sinner, Lord!  He doesn't love You or try to serve You or do what's right.  He's the abusive one.  He's the one who's wrong!  And You want me to ask him to forgive me?  That really sounds backwards to me.   I'm sorry, but I don't think so. 

End of conversation!  And end of all the peace I had been feeling when I was alone with God.  From that point moving forward, I could no longer sense the Presence of God with me.  The joy of praise and worship evaded me.   How could God be treating his sixteen year old daughter like this?  It just didn't seem right or fair.

God was unrelenting and I was "un"repenting!  Instead of me fighting the enemy, I now found myself wrestling with the God of Love who wanted His agape to invade my heart.  It was impossible for me to see myself "loving"  George.    So, after several weeks I had to admit to God:

Me:     God, if I have to forgive this man and ask him to forgive me, then I guess I'm going to go to hell!  I just can't adjust my attitude to do this thing.
God:     So, you're going to let this man have so much power over you that you will allow an attitude toward him to send you to hell?  You're going to miss out on heaven because of him?

God sure has a way of making you think!  And I didn't like the thought that came to me:  If I didn't forgive this man, I'd end up in the same place I wanted him to go!   I found myself in a dilemma.  I knew I couldn't hide anything from God, so I said to Him honestly:

Me:     Okay, I'm going to do what You ask; but, I still hate him!  I can't change that.  If You tell me to ask him to forgive me. Okay.  I'll ask him to forgive me.  But only because You're telling me I have to do it!

 From that day forward, I entered into another dimension of warfare with the demonic realm.  I had made a decision to do what God wanted me to do, even if I had to do it with a bad attitude.  However, now a spirit of fear would come upon me.  I became afraid to say anything to "George" and began to avoid him like the plague.  Every time I got around him, I knew I was to ask him to forgive me for hating him, and I would get so nervous I would tremble and sweat and quickly exit the room.  My heart would be thumping out of my chest.  I had grown up with speech impediments that required two years of therapy to correct when I was a young child.  Now those impediments were emerging again!  Fear was taking me backwards!

My prayer changed.  To do the will of God I would need boldness.  I practiced what I would say and timed how long it would take to say it.  I plotted as to the perfect way to get the job done and finally the perfect setup came.   With my backpack in hand I was heading to the front door out the house for school and had to pass by George.  Without breaking my stride, I spoke the words while grabbing for the door knob for a quick exit.

Me:         Bye.  Gotta get to school.
George:   Bye.
Me:         By the way, God told me I needed to repent for hating you and to ask you to forgive me.  So, please forgive me for hating you.

As I rushed out the door and quickly closed it behind me before he could respond, I immediately felt like a heavy load was lifted off of me.  After weeks of struggling, I had finally gotten the words out of my mouth and the deed was done within three seconds!  So much tension left me and there was such relief in my soul that I was overcome and collapsed on the porch and began to cry uncontrollably.

I don't know how long I wept, but as the tears flowed, it was as if God was washing away the heavy burden of sin that had imprisoned my heart.  He then blanketed me in His love and gave me a feeling I cannot explain and a lightness to my spirit I had not previously known.  The power of God met me right then and there and did for me what I could not do for myself:  delivered me forever.

IN HIS PRESENCE AGAIN!

After school I went to the church rather than home.   For the first time in a long time, God met with me again.  I felt the joy of His Presence.  He leaped in my heart.  In the days to come I would find out that He had supernaturally taken away all the hatred and replaced it with His Agape love for George.  I was able to pray for my stepdad and ask God to forgive him and save him.  It didn't matter how "George" responded; I now had an experience with God that made Him more real to me than ever before - and definitely more powerful.   And in the years to come, I would also discover that my deliverance from the spirit of hatred was so powerful and permanent that I have never been able to hate anyone again.   Yes, I've been angry.  But I know what real hatred is and I also know that when God delivers you and places His agape in you, you can live a lifetime without ever going through that same trial again.

OBEY GOD REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU FEEL

Did this testimony bless you?  It is a true story.  I needed God's supernatural grace to bring me to the place He wanted me to be.  He showed me what I needed to do in this situation and I know that He will show you what you need to do in your specific situation as well.  Trust Him and just be honest with Him every step of the way.  When He delivers, the results are amazing.


Whatever happened to "George"?  Now that is awesome as well!  God works on "both sides of the equation", as it were.  After asking him to forgive me, God began to deal with my stepdad's heart.  Conviction came upon him and instead of me trying to avoid him, he did everything he could to avoid me!  But then one day, he broke down and literally fell to his knees in front of me, crying out and begging me to truly forgive him and not hate him.  My heart melted towards him.  He begged me to pray for him.  He truly repented and changed his ways and stopped drinking.  However, my mom was not ready to change at that time [she was to get saved much later] and so they ended up divorced and "George" left.  I never saw or heard from him again, but I have a sneaky suspicion that I will see him in heaven.  I love him.


"...the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us," (Ro. 5:5).



God's Agape Love, Part Two

     I write this blog about God's love (agape) fully acknowledging that it is an impossible task to fully define it, or it even come close to it.  It is so vast.  I can only give you some scriptures, my thoughts and the views of others whom I have read on this subject.  Nevertheless, I pray this study will bless you.

"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour," (Ephesians 5:1-2).

We are commanded to love as the Lord Jesus Christ has loved us.  That would be an impossible task apart from the help and grace of the Holy Spirit, for Romans 5:5 tells us that "the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."  We know that God is love (I John 4:8); therefore, when agape love is being released from our hearts, we're actually releasing God - extending His love out to others.  

"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you," (John 15:12).

HOW DOES JESUS LOVE?

1.   Not through feelings, but through obedience.

"For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous," (I John 5:3).

Our flesh will fight against the expression of this kind of love.  So will our pride and all the lusts of our flesh and eyes.   Jesus is the only preacher who ever taught the following:

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you," (Mt. 5:44).

This kind of love was new theology at the time of Jesus' earthly ministry.   The term "agape" used to describe the love of God needed to be coined because using the terms "eros", or "storge" or "phileo" could not convey the message of this kind of love.

2.   Love for God the Father was in First Place in the Life of Jesus

God the Father was and is Jesus' first love.  His obedience was to the Father:

"Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God,"

(Ps. 40:7 & Heb. 10:7).

Jesus only did the will of the Father.  He never got so "grown" that He felt He could step out and "do his own thing" like so many of our young people when they "come of age".   As a man, He never lost His connection to the Father.  He remained obedient, even unto death.  When the will of God was painful...when it called for a whip, a nail, a crown of thorns, Jesus still loved the Father enough to say, "Not My will but Thy will be done."

The power and authority Jesus walked in as a man wasn't simply because of His love for you and me.  His love for us was an extension of His love for the Father.  The first commandment to you and me is the same:

^28 "And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?
²⁹ And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
³⁰ And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment."   - Mark 12

3 .   Jesus loves compassionately.  Whenever Jesus was moved with compassion, miracles would occur [Mt. 9:36; 14:14; Mark 1:41; 6:43].  The power of agape love is the power to save, heal, and deliver.

4.   Jesus loves personally.  He came to seek and save that which was lost.  He is not willing that ANY should perish. He ministered not only to great multitudes, but to individuals.  He takes time to hear a sinner's prayer.

5.   Jesus loves eternally.  This is way He came to give us eternal life... so that we could be with Him forever.  All things were made by Him and for Him.  Isn't it wonderful to know that He desires you forever and that He made it possible to fulfill that desire?  Hallelujah.  He came to give you an abundant life - not only now, but He's in glory preparing a place for you, that where He is, there you may be also.

6.   Jesus loves unconditionally.    He rains blessings on the just and the unjust.  While we were yet in our sins, He died for us.  He only requires that we believe and receive because we can never earn His love or life.

7.   Jesus loves practically.  In other words, His love feeds the hungry, clothes the naked, sets the solitary in families, comforts the brokenhearted, visits those in prison, sets the captives free, and even washes dirty feet! 

After His resurrection, Jesus showed up on the seashore, cooking fish for the same men who had denied him.  His love restores.  Look at the exchange between Jesus and Peter in the following verses:

^15 "So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.
¹⁶ He saith to him again the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
¹⁷ He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep." - John 21

In  the original language, in verses fifteen and sixteen, Jesus asks Peter:  "Do you (love) agape me?" And Peter answers, "Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I (love) phileo thee." 

The cocky Peter had been humbled by his failure to agape Jesus.  He knew that the love he had for the Messiah was not on the same level as the love the Messiah had for him.  Jesus had tried to warn Peter that Satan desired to sift him as wheat.  Jesus let him know in advance of His intercession on Peter's behalf.   Jesus knew Peter was going to fail, but Peter could not accept that truth at the time.

^31 "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:  ³² But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." - Luke 22
"And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly," (Mt. 26:75).

Jesus loved Peter enough to ask him a third time whether or not he loved Him.  Yet, the question was not quite the same in John 21:17 as it had been in the previous two verses.   In the original it would be more like this:

"He said to  him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest (phileo) thou me?   In other words, if you cannot yet agape Jesus, do you really phileo Him?  Do you love Him like a brother?  Peter was grieved at the question, but responded as he had before, yet acknowledging that Jesus already knew what was in his heart.  Jesus knew the kind of love Peter had for Him.   Nevertheless, Jesus willingly commissioned Peter to "feed my sheep".

Beloved, you and I may fall short of the love of God the way God wants it to be expressed in our lives.   However, God knows the love we have towards Him.   And He knows how to perfect it.  He will use us right where we are if we are willing.  And that love will grow until one day, we can give ourselves totally over to agape love.  Peter was a mighty apostle of God.  After Pentecost, he was changed and transformed... a powerful pillar.  The "Cephas" or stone upon which God could lay the foundation and build His church, Jesus Christ being the Chief Cornerstone.

Peter eventually died a martyr, choosing to be crucified upside down because he felt unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as the Lord Jesus had been.   The sacrifice of his life was more than what phileo alone could accomplish.  Somehow, somewhere along the way, the agape of God invaded Peter's heart and gave him the grace and power to be all that God had called him to be.

And so it shall be with you and me.  Amen.  



















 

What Love Is This? Family Ties

"Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers," (Prov. 17:6).

          

"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse," (Malachi 4:6).

         

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;   That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth,” (Eph. 6:1-3).

“Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;   The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity,” (I Tim. 5:1,2).

The first love given to bless a newborn is that of its parents.  An infant will know its parents long before it knows God.   The love given through family will be foundational and a frame of reference for every love the child will encounter in life.  The care and nurture of a baby is all about unselfish love in action just because he or she belongs.  Babies don't have a care in the world.  They are fed, washed, played with, comforted, protected and provided for just because they belong and the parents lovingly assume responsibility for the precious soul they brought into this world. 

The baby gets to watch how Mom and Dad express love to one another in the context of holy matrimony.  A son will learn what a husband is and what a husband does by the example of his father.  He will learn by example how to one day father his own children. Likewise the daughter will learn from her mother how to be a wife and mother.  The children's first blessings are through family.  A good man will leave an inheritance, not only for his children, but for his children's children  (Prov. 13:22).   Siblings may vie for the parents love and attention and may not seem to get along when they are young, but they learn to love brothers and sisters because they are "blood".  They will be there for one another because they are family. 

Family loves you even when you do wrong.  They can't help but to love you even when they're angry with you.   Storge love goes deep.   Family will do for you when no one else will.   There's no prayers for you more powerful than a mother's prayer, or a father's intercession.   Nothing touches the heart of God more than family.  Even in eternity we will forever be members of the household of faith... one big, happy family!  Everyone's needs will be met.  There may not be any marrying or giving in marriage in heaven, but we will all be brothers and sisters and have one everlasting Father. 

My brother is home after several years of incarceration.  When he knew he would be released, he wrote to tell me he was getting out.  He knew that my husband and I would make preparations to receive him into our home because he is a member of our family.  We cleared out a room where the treadmill and bowflex machines and other exercise equipment had been kept.  We dusted and cleaned, bought window coverings and set up a bed and made a list of all the things that would make the room comfortable for my brother:  a radio rather than a television set because we know that's what he likes; a bookshelf with certain books and magazines because we know he is a reader; a picture of his dad because they had a close relationship, etc.    That was storge in action.   Love for a family member.  Would we have done these things for a stranger?  Would we have taken someone in and tried to make it special to them?  Perhaps.  We've had a number of people live with us over the course of our marriage; but always, we embraced whoever lived with us as if they were family, because in the Body of Christ, that is what we are. 

“As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith,” (Gal. 6:10).

The meaning of family is being perverted and confused in our culture.   The trend away from the traditional family will eventually unravel our society.  With the proliferation of propaganda in support of homosexuality, lesbianism and gay "marriages" we are witnessing a major shift as the general population is being brainwashed into accepting, embracing and even celebrating that which is an abomination in the sight of a holy God.   Girls and boys are increasing becoming confused about their gender.  Transgender operations and procedures are being performed on children now.  There is a day care in Charlotte, North Carolina in which children are not allowed to be addressed by gender at all.   Christians are increasingly being ridiculed and persecuted for speaking out against these things.  You don't agree with homosexuality?  You will quickly be labeled as being homophobic or a bigot.  According to a newsletter recently received from the Christian Action Network, our Department of Justice is requiring all of its employees to verbally embrace the homosexual agenda, even putting out a memo stating that "silence will be interpreted as disapproval".

So, children who are raised in a perverted family environment are in spiritual trouble.  Who wants to believe something is wrong with having two daddies or two mommies who are loving them, treating them with kindness and meeting all their needs?   This is not storge as God intended.   Perhaps people are vulnerable to the spirit of perversion because they lacked the natural love of family, or storge. 
Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy 3:3 speak of a people who are "without natural affection".  Please catch that.  To be without natural affection is to be without the natural love of a mother or father, sister or brother.   It's not the same as being with unnatural affection.  Without NATURAL affection.   In other words, there is a natural affection a mother should have for her unborn child.  When that natural affection isn't there, a mother can abort her baby because the love that protects the child is absent.  There's a natural affection we're to have for our family.  When that is absent from a person's life, it leaves room for UNNATURAL affection to step in.  

What is the root of so much gender confusion these days?  One possible reason may be the disappointment a parent feels in the gender of their child.   Perhaps a father was hoping for a son, but a daughter was born instead.  What if the mother had been wanting a particular gender and was disappointed in the sex of her child?  What we must realize is that spirits are real and they influence the spirit and soul of the unborn and the newborn.  If the spirit of that child receives the message that they were the "wrong gender", they may instinctively begin to embrace that lie and reject their gender because they don't want to be a disappointment to its parents. 

Satan's agenda against humanity is real.  His time is short and he's out to destroy as many souls as he can.  When God created man in His image and likeness, He did not make man homosexual because God is not homosexual.  He made male and female because only a man and woman can be fruitful and multiply.  Satan knows that two men or two women cannot reproduce.  If everyone was "gay" the human race would cease to exist.  Seeing that Satan wants to destroy human life, it would appear that his agenda is also to stop human life from coming into existence. 

Do not be deceived.  Hold fast to the Word of God as the plumb-line by which truth is measured and every lie uncovered.  Although many families are dysfunctional and many people do not receive the love they need to be whole, God has adopted you into His family and He gives spiritual parents and spiritual brothers and sisters so that you can form bonds of relationships that will heal the wounds and fill the emptiness in your soul.  You do not have to turn to perversion.   If you have done so, you can repent and turn to God.  He has the answer and longs for you to be delivered and for you to discover who He really created you to be.  It's not too late.  We have ministered to and seen God bring souls out of a perverted lifestyle.  They are now living sanctified and satisfied lives.  That can be your testimony too.

Prayer

Dear heavenly Father,

I pray for the one reading this blog and who stands in need of your salvation, healing and deliverance.  I pray that he or she will not justify their sin, but rather, will repent and ask for and receive Your mercy.  May all the lies they have heard about You be exposed and may they know You for the loving God you truly are.  May they come boldly before Your throne of grace and receive the help they need to become all that you've created them to be.  Give them a personal experience with you whereby they learn how real and how close You are to them.  Give them a thirst and hunger for truth that motivates them to read your Holy Bible every day and be nourished by the Words that proceed out of Your mouth.  I pray for their life, both natural and spiritual.  I pray that true love is poured out upon them and that they position their heart, mind and soul to receive that love and also to release true love to others.  Dear Father, bless those who are desperately seeking and searching for You and who are open to being transformed into Your image and likeness.  Restore them completely from the ravishes of a sinful lifestyle.  Show them Your mighty power to change them into a new creation in Christ Jesus.  Take away perverted lusts, desires and actions.  Give them strength to sever relationships that have been unhealthy and that will lead their soul to eternal damnation and separation from You and all that is good.  Cause their ears to be open to hear You when You speak.  May they rightfully distinguish good from evil, right from wrong, truth from lies.  And may they always choose that which is pleasing to You and liberating to them.  In Jesus' precious name I pray.  Amen.

What Love Is This, My Friend?



 "And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul," (I Samuel 18:1).

"I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan: very pleasant hast thou been unto me: thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women," (2 Samuel 1:26).

In the past several sessions we dealt with Eros love.  Today we begin delving into another precious kind of love that God makes available to us through friendships. 

God is not just interested in your loving Him.  He wants you to love others purely and passionately.  Among the saints there is to be a fervent (hot-heated) love that bonds us together (I Pet. 1:22).  Even people fortunate and blessed enough to have a wonderful marriage and sexually fulfilling love life, still need this kind of love to be totally fulfilled.   Everybody needs a friend and the Word of God declares that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother  (Prov. 18:24).

How many friends you have depends on you.  "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly..." (Prov. 18:24a).   If you sow friendship, you will reap friendship.   Many people today are so self-centered that they do not know how to be a good friend.  What distinguishes a person in your life as a true friend?  Maybe some of the qualities listed here come to mind when you think of a friend:

1.    Someone whose personality you like and whom you enjoy spending time and conversing with.  They hold your interest (you find them interesting, not boring).

2.    Someone whose likes to do the things you like to do and you find greater pleasure in doing them together (any activity, hobby, vocation, etc.).

3.     Someone who has gained your confidence and trust and with whom you share details of your life that you would not tell to just anybody.

4.     Someone who shares your sorrows and joys and that you know you can count on in a pinch.  They help you when you need help and vice versa. 

5.     Someone with whom you can be totally honest and even disagree on certain issues without it damaging your relationship.  Someone who sees the good, bad and ugly and loves you just the same even though they are not biologically related to you.

6.    Someone you might not hear from for a long time, but when you do communicate, you can pick up right where you left off.  

7.    Someone whom you believe understands you and accepts you unconditionally, blemishes and all.

Feel free to add to this list anything I may miss about what a friend may mean to you.   A friend is someone who becomes a part of you.  I see certain friends who are so close that they unconsciously begin to pick up one another's mannerisms and verbal expressions.  You know how it is...  you sense it in yourself.  There are times when I will say something and realize that it's not my expression, but one of my friends.   When that happens, it's like I feel them "inside" of me.  That's because they have become a part of my soul.

JONATHAN AND DAVID

What a beautiful love story of a friendship between two men who were not gay, yet shared a love that was, in David's words, "wonderful, passing the love of women."  If you ever thought that sexual intimacy was the greatest love you could seek after, hear the hearts of Jonathan and David.

Jonathan was a brave warrior of Israel who was sensitive to the spirit of God. He trusted God to give him and his armorbearer victory against the Philistines (I Sam. 14:1-23), even though the odds were against them.   Jonathan saw that the young lad, David, was a courageous youth, willing to trust God also and  put his life on the line for God and country. 

After David slew Goliath and was brought before the king, Jonathan's heart was knit to David so much so that he gave David his robe, sword, bow, belt and armour.  Jonathan even knew that,  though he should be the natural heir to the throne after his father, Saul, that David would be king instead.  Nevertheless, there was no jealousy, rivalry, etc.   Consider the following verses of scripture:

"Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul.  And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle,"  (I Sam. 18:3-4).

"And Jonathan Saul's son arose, and went to David...and said unto him...thou shalt be

king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee..." (excerpted from I Sam. 23:16-18).

Jonathan is an unsung hero of the O.T.   Truly his ending was tragic in that he died in battle along with his father (2 Sam. 1:4).  Yet, because of their covenant of friendship, king David sought out any descendants of Jonathan to whom he could show love and compassion.  He found Jonathan's son, Mephibosheth, who was lame in both feet.

^6 "Now when Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, was come unto David, he fell on his face, and did reverence. And David said, Mephibosheth. And he answered, Behold thy servant!

⁷ And David said unto him, Fear not: for I will surely shew thee kindness for Jonathan thy father's sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.

⁸ And he bowed himself, and said, What is thy servant, that thou shouldest look upon such a dead dog as I am?" (2 Sam. 9).

The love David had for Jonathan extended to Jonathan's seed.  How many people can your children find favor with and who will  be willing to help them after you're gone, simply because of the friendship that they had with you?  Can you make that kind of covenant?  With a true friend you can.
God has given you the capacity to be a true friend and to experience the love of friends; and you have every right to pursue it in your life!  I pray that you do.

In my life, my husband is also my best friend.  We enjoy each other just as friends.  It's part of what makes our marriage so wonderful.  Obviously, no husband and wife spend all their time in bed together.  They have to have a life and a love beyond just Eros.   The longer we have been married, the more we enjoy one another's company.  It 's amazing to be the age we are now (mid fifties), having been married more than twenty years and to know that the love we shared in our youth has given way to a deeper more meaningful love.  Yes, we still enjoy each other physically from time to time... but not like when we were younger.  And yes, it's just as wonderful.  But, beyond that, there is another love that we share that's even richer and which we can express 24/7.  It's the Phileo love.  He is my friend and I am his.   I think of the pureness of the love of small children before they become sexually expressive.   I feel that kind of love within me and I know it's a gift from God.  Just know that it's in you too, no matter what age you are.

BECOME A FRIEND OF GOD

Jesus is the Son of David.  If David was good to the seed of his friend, how much more will the Son of God watch over, protect and provide for the children of His "friends".   

How can you become God's friend?  How can you know that He considers you, not just a born-again believer, but His friend?  Here's what Jesus said to His disciples:

"Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you," (John 15:15).

Shabba!  Excuse me.  "Shabba" is a word I shout when I get excited!  To think that we can be friends of God.  Has He not revealed to us the things He has heard of the Father?  Does His Word not say that in the last days He will pour out of His Spirit upon all flesh and that your sons and daughters shall prophesy?  What is that?  That's God revealing His Word to you; not keeping it a secret; not treating you like a servant, but rather, like a son; and like a friend. 

In the Messianic prophecy of Psalm 41:9, Judas was looked upon as a familiar friend who turned against Jesus by betraying Him to His enemies.  Sometimes friendships turn sour.  Not all human friendships last; we know that.   You're not responsible for the actions of others; only your own.  We know that in prophecy of the last days warns us that because iniquity will abound, the love of many will wax cold.  I would say to you, beloved, guard your heart!   In spite of what others do, you continue to forgive, show mercy, do good to them that despitefully use you and persecute you; bless those who curse you and who turn their backs on you.  Don't be gripped by bitterness, resentment, anger, hatred or any other spiritual attitude from the kingdom of darkness.  Don't be afraid to love again.  Trust me.  I know.  I've been there many times and have felt such woundedness of heart that I wondered if I could recover.  Nevertheless, I have found that love is stronger than death and that God is my Helper and enabler.  To God be the glory.  The apostle Paul experienced it from the very churches he founded, saying in 2 Corinthians 12:15, "And I will very gladly spend and be spend for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved."

I will not set up false expectations about the consequences of loving the way God calls you to love.  There will be disappointments.  There will be pain.  There will be betrayals and misunderstandings and breaches in relationships, etc.   Divorces will continue.   But's that's only one side of the coin, as it were.   God gives us great grace and shows us more of Himself as we stand through these tests that bleed our hearts and try our faith.  Don't give up on God and don't give up on love. 

"Building the Kingdom by Building People"



What Love Is This? Eros (cont.)

 ^{"  2} And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. ³ And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? ⁴ And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. ⁵ And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. ⁶ But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.  ⁷ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; ⁸ And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.  ⁹ What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put sunder,"  (Mark 10).

We must keep in mind that when we are referring to Eros love, we are not equating it with sex, but it does accommodate a physical relationship.   Eros, as God intends it to be, is a spiritual love that can be physically expressed between a man and his wife, that bonds them and makes them one.   When Eros is out of order, people engage in sex without love, only lust... and it doesn't last.

God ordained eros.  He made a man, Adam, took the "womb-man" or woman out of the "male man" and then brought him back together with himself, and called their name "Adam" (Gen. 5:2).  God never intended for a man to be alone, or to be with another man.   Yes, there are some men who have been born eunuchs (no libido or sexual desire),  others who were made eunuchs by men and still others who have made themselves eunuchs "for the kingdom of heaven's sake" (Mt. 19:12).  There are also those who may not be eunuchs, but who have remained virgins in spite of any physical desires (e.g., Rev. 14:4).  If that's your gift and you have the grace, like the Apostle Paul, to live single, then you don't need to read any further.  But if you've struggled and want to look deeper into this kind of love, then keep reading.

IT MATTERS WHO YOU MARRY!

We started sharing last week how that, even though God hates divorce, there were times when He permitted it and even required it [Ezra 10].  The above scripture reference in Mark 10 declares that He allowed it among His chosen people because of the hardness of men's hearts.  In the book of Malachi [2:11-15] we discovered that God wanted godly marriages because He was after a godly seed.   God is so concerned about the seed, that He blesses and considers "holy" the seed that comes from a marriage in which only one partner is saved:  "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy," (I Cor. 7:14).  

Look what happened during the time of Ezra and Nehemiah.

"In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab:  And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews language..." (Neh. 13:23,24).

Mothers tend to be the ones who spend the most time with their babies.  These Jews men had married foreign wives who served other gods and spoke other languages.  These women taught their children, not about Jehovah-God or His ways, but the language and customs from their own culture.   Read all of Nehemiah 13.  The evil was great in the sight of God.  Even the son of the high priest had married the daughter of Sanballat!  Remember him?  Read about him in Nehemiah 2.  He hated the Jews and was grieved when he learned that there was someone seeking their welfare.  He and Tobiah and others laughed the Jews to scorn.  They were enemies of the Jews.  Now, there are Jewish men marrying their daughters...sleeping with the enemy!   And before they could get right with God, not only did they have to divorce these women, but send away this ungodly seed.

It matters who you marry.  Whenever you have lain with a person, it's a physical union and type of marriage, even if it's not "legally licensed", because it results in a soul tie...a joining together and becoming one.  That's why the Word of God warns us

"Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ?  shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot?  God forbid.  What?  know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body?  for two, saith he, shall be one flesh," (I Cor. 6:15,16).

A man who lays with a harlot is not laying with his "wife", but with a woman to whom he is not married; nevertheless, the Word says that they have become "one flesh"... the same terminology used of a husband and wife.  However, such an illicit relationship will hinder your walk with God and can cause you to lose your inheritance in the kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9).  Repent!  Change your heart, your mind and your ways and return to the Lord, and He will have mercy upon you and restore your soul.  

It has been said of a believer that, if you marry an unbeliever, you'll have the devil for a father-in-law.  People don't simply marry flesh; they marry a soul and a spirit.  It matters who you marry because what is in the seed is passed down.  Certainly we are all born in sin and shaped in iniquity and have the ability to repent and be transformed.  Nevertheless, women often make the mistake of marrying a man that's not saved,  thinking that after they marry, she'll be able to "change him".   There is a deceptive spirit that vulnerable men and women fall prey to when they think they're "in love".    Read Proverbs.  Even great men, strong and mighty, have been brought low by a piece of flesh.    One of my "heroes of the faith", the great healing evangelist Kathryn Kuhlman, found herself at the altar, marrying a man who had left his wife for her.  Many of her friends had tried to warn her that this relationship was not of God, but she would not listen.   As soon as the marriage ceremony was completed, the spirit that had blinded her lifted and she ran out of the church screaming, "What have I done?!"  Of course, the marriage ended in divorce and her ministry was crippled for a season; but God in His great mercy restored.  

AMNON AND TAMAR - Please read all of 2 Samuel 13

One of the most tragic stories regarding eros gone awry takes place with King David's seed. 

"And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin... (vs. 2).
"And Amon said... I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."  (vs. 4).

To make a long story short, Amnon mistakes lust for love and he ends up raping his half-sister, after which he "hated her exceedingly; so that "the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her" (vs. 15).

Tamar was willing to become Amnon's wife.  She pleaded with him to ask the king for her hand.  That would have been the right thing to do.  If he truly "loved" her, he did not have to "force" her.  He was listening to his hormones, not her heart.   The consequences?  She lives out her days in shame in her brother Absalom's house.  Absalom plots revenge and eventually kills Amnon for what he did to his sister. Was it worth it?!  

In the past year, I have witnessed a deceptive spirit rearing its ugly head once again among Christian marriages... even among so-called leaders in the Body of Christ.   Many lonely women/men of God are being deceived.  Men/women  "of God" who are gifted, talented, good-looking, charismatic, smooth talkers, smelling good and seem sincere, are leading these poor souls to the altar and within just a few short weeks or months, they are ready to divorce.  Nevertheless, they truly believed that they had "heard from God" concerning marrying this individual.  I've noticed a pattern in every case.  If you find yourself or someone you know caught up in this pattern, warn them!

1.   It's always believed to be of God, sometimes with a "sign" or "confirmation" accompanying it.
2.   It always refuses to listen to godly counsel.
3.   It ALWAYS has to happen in a hurry!  It's extremely impatient.
4.   It will refuse to tell significant others in the person's life until after the marriage has taken place, leaving people who know and love them in utter shock and disbelief.
5.   Like Amnon, the "love" can quickly turn to hate, disdain, etc.
6.   Within a short amount of time (less than a year) at least one of the partners leave or is seriously contemplating divorce.
7.   The confession changes.  They no longer say or believe that this was truly of God.  There is a spirit of confusion.

When this scenario is repeated over and over and over again, you know the demonic realm is involved.  As believers, we are to follow the will of God, not the will of our flesh, and certainly not the will of Satan.

 "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:  That every one of you should possess his vessel in sanctification and honor," (I Thess. 4:3,4).

JACOB AND RACHEL - Eros CAN Wait

"And Jacob loved Rachel and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel... (Gen. 29:18).
"And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.  And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her," (Gen. 29:20,21).

What kind of love is this!  Jacob obviously had not touched Rachel for seven years, even though he loved her and wanted her.  So, it is possible, men!  Something more than lust was in his heart.  Lust is selfish and impatient.  But he was willing to earn her.   He wasn't coming to her empty-handed.  And women, don't be in such a hurry to latch on to a man: give him time to prove himself.  True love isn't in a hurry.  Give it time.  Please, give it time.

When you read further into Genesis Chapter 29, you see that Laban tricked Jacob and gave him Leah instead.  After Jacob fulfilled Leah's week, he was given Rachel and he worked another seven years for her.

JOSEPH AND MARY - Eros WILL Wait

"Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife.  And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS," (Mt. 1:24,25).

Jacob didn't get to marry Rachel for seven years; and so he didn't touch her.  But Mary was Joseph's wife, and still, he didn't touch her until after she gave birth to Jesus.  She did not remain a virgin, but had other children:

"Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon?  and are not his sisters here with us?  And they were offended at him," (Mark 6:3).

Joseph and Mary had children;  Jesus had siblings.  He was born of a virgin and He himself remained a virgin, although He is espoused or engaged.

JESUS AND HIS BRIDE - Spiritual Fulfillment of Eros

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.  This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church," (Eph. 5:31-32).

"For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ," (2 Cor. 11:2).

Don't just be Christ's virgin; be a chaste virgin.   When you live "chaste", you're not doing anything that could lead to a sexual encounter; you're not "playing with fire".  You remain morally pure in thought and conduct.  I give four words to my teenage children to help them in this:  Stay public. Stay standing.

Eros is meant to be a beautiful love that lasts a lifetime.  Don't make it cheap or dirty.  Let it grow with the other loves that God gives:  storge, phileo and agape.   Refuse to believe that it can't happen for you.  We're here to pray for you and encourage you to be fulfilled God's way.

Eros alone won't fulfill you.  We'll share next week about another love God has prepared for you. 

 

 

What Love Is This? Part Two - Eros

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine,"
 Song of Solomon 1:2.

"Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.   Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.  And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?"  (Prov. 5:18-20).

We stated last week that God is the author of all true loves, including eros, or sexual intimacy.  In the right context, it is a beautiful expression of the love shared between a man and his wife.

"There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid," (Prov. 30:18-20).

Many people have given up on God's pattern for marriage and are simply co-habiting without a lifelong commitment to the relationship.   They have seen so many marriages, even among Christians, fail.  Yet the Word of God declares that "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge," (Heb. 13:4).

Why is there an abortion in America on the average of one every fifteen seconds?   If two people who were truly in love were being fruitful and multiplying, why would they kill their seed?  The fact of the matter is that, when a woman becomes pregnant to a man she doesn't really love and who she knows won't be there to help raise the child... or, when the man doesn't want the responsibility and/or already has children by other women, the enemy causes them to justify or reason why it's better for this "fetal tissue" to be extracted from the body.   The womb becomes a tomb.   As with any holocaust or genocide, those committing the murder must soothe their own conscious by dehumanizing the objects of destruction, calling them anything but a human being.  When eros love is "out of order" the results are devastating.

God meant for procreation to take place in the context of holy matrimony for the purpose of producing a godly seed in the earth.

"Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth," (Malachi 2:14,15).

What an awesome privilege God has given to mankind: to reproduce life.  Children are meant by God to be a blessing.

^"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.   Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate," (Ps. 127:4-5).

"For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.  Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord," (Ps. 128:2-4).

When children get to be raised in a loving home by their biological parents, even if they are not Christians, they are still better adjusted, happy and secure.   When children don't grow up with love (storge), their spirit is more vulnerable and prone to engage in deviant forms of "love".   In other words, we all need love, and when we don't get loved the right way, we'll seek to fill that void in other ways.    I often compare this with eating.   We all know that there is a difference between eating healthy and eating junk food.   When we're hungry, junk food is better than no food at all.  Who wants to starve to death?   Perversions of love is like junk food.  When you're love starved because no one has fed you "healthy love", then perhaps masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality, etc. may be the alternative that Satan brings into your life's experience.  Deep within your spirit, you know it's wicked; if you don't, then it's a sign that you have been given over to a reprobate mind.

"Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:   Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;   
Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them,"  (Romans 1:24-32).

America is becoming as Sodom and Gomorrah, two cities that came under divine judgment and subsequent destruction because they were filled with sexual perversion.   Perhaps you have been snared by sexual sins and you want to be free.  Jesus became sin so that you might become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.  You are not stuck with your sin!  Praise God!  You do not have to come under judgment if you repent and come under the Blood of Jesus instead.

Regardless of how deeply entrenched you may feel the sin is... no matter are great a stronghold it may have become, when you have Jesus Christ on the inside, then greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.   Christ, the anointing that destroys every yoke, is your victory.   Repentance involves a change of heart and a change of mind.  You become transformed by the renewing of your mind. Understand that the stronghold begins in your mind, with imaginations, thoughts, fantasies, etc. that you entertain.  You must begin to cast down every thought, every imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God (2 Cor. 10:5).  You must fill your spirit with truth and walk in that truth so that you do not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Gal. 5:16).  Allow God to sever every relationship that is spiritual unhealthy for you.  Recognize Jesus Christ as the Divine Bridegroom and understand that, spiritually speaking, you are His Bride.   You are to be married to Him and you want to live this life in such a way that you are preparing yourself for that great Wedding Day.

"For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ," (2 Cor. 11:2). 

God can restore you.  Jesus will free you.  And whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!  Amen.

God and Divorce

Is God ever in divorce?  Even though He hates it, the answer is a profound YES!  God Himself has been married, divorced and remarried.  In His dealings with Israel and Judah, God looked upon His chosen people as His wife.  When they committed spiritual idolatry and whoredoms, He divorced Israel, but brought her to repentance, and married her again.

⁷ And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.
⁸ And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
⁹ And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.  - Jeremiah 3

 He commanded His prophet Hosea to marry a harlot as a prophetic picture of how His own people had treated Him.

"The beginning of the word of the Lord by Hosea. And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord," (Hos. 1:2).

In the time of Ezra, God led His people, especially the priests, to not only divorce the wives that He never intended for them to marry, but to also send the children from those marriages away.

³ Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
¹⁰ And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.
¹¹ Now therefore make confession unto the Lord God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives.
¹² Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do.
¹⁴ Let now our rulers of all the congregation stand, and let all them which have taken strange wives in our cities come at appointed times, and with them the elders of every city, and the judges thereof, until the fierce wrath of our God for this matter be turned from us.  - Ezra 10

It is good to know the will of God before getting married.  Unfortunately many people either do not seek godly counsel or do not heed it.  After the damage is done, then they look for someone to rescue them from a bad situation.  Nevertheless, they must now go through a process and reap what they have sown and wait for God's timing to release them.  

Will continue this next week.  

 

Note:  In classical mythology, Eros is synonymous with Cupid, the god of love, affection, attraction and desire.

 

What Love Is This? Part One

 

 

"Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law," (Ro. 13:8).

Introduction

In this new series we are going to explore the subject of love.   We will come to understand the various types of love, love versus lust, biblical stories and examples of the nature of each kind of love, and the end-time apostasy of love (Mt. 24:12), and so much more.

God is love (I John 4:8) and all true love originates in Him.   A person who does not love, does not know God.   Love has enemies (Ps. 109:4-5).   Yet, the greatest commandment(s) given to us are in regards to love [Dt. 6:5; 10:12; 11:13; 13:3; 30:6; Joshua 22:5; I Kings 11:2; Mt. 22:37; Mk. 12:30; Lk. 10:27; 2 Thess. 3:5].     

Jesus charged His disciples saying, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another," (John 13:34).   Another word for love is "charity".  The following verses are truer now that when the Apostle Peter wrote them:

"But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.  And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.  Use hospitality one to another without grudging," (I Pet. 4:7-9).

As we draw closer to the coming of Jesus Christ, we must determine to guard our hearts against all attacks against the love we are to show towards others.  So, let's explore our love life, shall we?

EROS, STORGE, PHILEO OR AGAPE?

These four types of love form the foundation for our study.  We use the one word "love" in English to mean many things, but there are different original words in the Bible which we translate as "love" and those words mean very different things.    When you say, "I love you" a friend, to a parent, to a sweetheart, to your child, and to God, it means different things.  

Let's do a brief overview which we will expound on in great detail in future studies.

EROS

We get our word "erotic" from this word.  In the beginning God commanded Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply..." (Gen. 1:28).   Adam "knew" his wife and she conceived (Gen. 4:1).  We understand that  Eros and knowing someone erotically is to be sexually intimate with them. 

God is not against sex!   He's the one who created man with the capacity for Eros love.  Without it, none of us would have been conceived and mankind have ceased to exist.  What God is against is the perversion, the fornication and adultery, the lack of commitment to the relationship, the damage done to the soul, etc.   I'll say it again:  God is not against sex; He's against sexual sins.  This is the area where many people confuse lust with love.  The damage done by sexual sin is far greater than we imagine.  The word of God warns us to "flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body," (I Cor. 6:18).  

¹⁵ Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.  ¹⁶ What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh," (I Cor. 6:15,16).

Without a body, Eros cannot manifest.  Many people get caught up in their bodies and in the bodies of others and can become obsessed with their looks and their "sex appeal".   Many people today have multiple "partners" and have greatly perverted what God meant to be holy and undefiled.  We won't blame this on the devil either.  The perversion of Eros is rooted in the lust of the flesh, not the work of the devil.

¹⁶ This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  ¹⁷ For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would, (Galatians 5).

STORGE/PHILEO

 

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity," (Prov. 17:17).

"Let brotherly love continue," (Heb. 13:1).

 

These two loves are so closely related that we will study them together.  As Eros is rooted in the body, these loves are rooted in the soul.  

 

 Storge love is a natural love and affection that family members have for one another because they are family.  They share the same genetic make-up; they may look and act like each other and have many inherited similarities and traits.  They live together, eat meals together, and know each other on a level of intimacy that bonds them.   They know what each other looks and acts like early in the morning or late at night.  They gain an understanding of one another's likes, dislikes, gifts and abilities, etc.  God placed a natural love of a mother for her child and that bonding takes place while the child is still in her womb.   Family will take care of one another and share a responsibility for each other.

 

Phileo is the love of a friend.  Sometimes the bond with a friend is so strong that they can feel like family.  Friendship love is formed when you find someone with whom you share things in common.   Perhaps you like the same kind of music, or sports teams or you like to engage in the same kinds of activities such as fishing or bowling or gardening. There is an emotional tie that causes you to not only enjoy one another, but whatever activity you engage in becomes "more fun".  You laugh harder when watching a comedy when you're watching it with a friend versus watching it alone.

 

Your strongest relationship(s) can be determine by who you first share your greatest joys and pains with.   When you have good news, who is the first person you call?   Whoever you share with first tends to be the person you are closest to.  

 

Phileo love is not organic.  It's not something you're born with, but rather, something you develop with someone.  You can live without it, but life wouldn't be nearly as meaningful or rewarding.

 

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother," (Prov. 18:24).

AGAPE



"And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God," (Eph. 3:19).

God is a Spirit and so His love is not rooted in the flesh, or in the soul, but in the spirit.  This love has height and length and depth and breadth.  It's full of mercy and compassion and power, wonder and awe.  It's truly incomprehensible!   It's stronger than death and the one who possesses it has the power to overcome all things because this love "never fails"  (I Cor. 13:8).

God's love is characterized as an unconditional love for the unworthy... a love given irrespective of merit.  It is a love that seeks to give rather to receive.   It is a gift, not a reward; it is not earned.

"Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren," (I John 3:16).

This love was lavished upon us while we were yet in our sins.  It demands that we love our enemies, that we bless them that curse us, do good to them that hate us and pray for them that despitefully use us and persecute us (ref. Mt. 5:43-48).  This love challenges us and changes us.  Romans 13:8 is in reference to this kind of love; it is a debt that we owe one another.  The Apostle Peter tells us to love each other fervently with a pure heart (I Pet. 1:22).  

Agape is so immense.  Jesus demonstrated the Father's love and whenever He was moved with compassion miracles occurred.  When a believer allows the love of God to be shed abroad in his heart, he too will see great miracles occur.

No one can stop you from loving like this except you.  If you allow this kind of love to flow out from you to others, you will unlock a life of unbelievable beauty and power.  Nothwithstanding, there will also be great pain and suffering.  Jesus was the greatest Lover ever born, and they crucified Him.  But, He rose again.   When you love like that, death cannot hold you down.   Beyond the suffering is a joy that is unexplainable.   You can tap into it; it's a choice.   I pray that as we go into the depths of this study, you will make a quality decision to move into the realm of God's agape and take up residence there forever.  Amen.